You find yourself madly in love, maybe for the first time in your life. You felt that they were your perfect match and possibly your last bus stop. While on the contrary, they don’t want to be with you or maybe did recently have a change of mind. What comes next? A break-up that has left you devastated. The only important message that your instinct passes to you is how to get them back.
I have trod the route you are; multiple times and can categorically advice you not to pay attention to your instinct. Don’t allow your instinct to screw you! At this stage, you are not thinking straight and can easily make mistakes because you are still madly in love with your significant other. You can get over this hurtful heartbreak sooner than expected if you can think and act with your head and not allowing your emotional instinct to ruin you.
You have to embrace the reality that he/she left and rejected you. If they were into you, they’d be here now. You see your partner as your perfect match while he/she perceives you otherwise. I want you to occupy your mind with these for you to heal and get over them faster. As hurtful as it may seem, I want you to note that the pains you are going through now is for the better. Instead of living in false hope of what looks like a mirage, it is better you go through the pains and agony now, and regain your sanity in no distant time.
Don’t go begging or acting pitiable to get a change of mind from your partner because that dream may never come to reality. I want you to understand that they have a mind of theirs, which you can’t change even with your begging tactics. This will only make you to appear needy, desperate and pathetic before your significant other.
I admit that letting go can be a very scary situation in any romantic relationship but when it becomes inevitable, you need to do the needful. These two strong points will help you get over this hurtful experience and get back on your feet sooner than expected.
Your relationship has ended; embrace that reality and be open for better options to meet love again
Don’t blame your situation on love. Always remember why and how your relationship ended. Don’t use love as an excuse because of your feelings of disappointment and anger. I want you to bear in mind that relationships can change from sweet to a sour experience, therefore to achieve happiness you two can decide to go your separate ways. Please don’t tag it on love so that it won’t hamper your opportunity of loving genuinely again. Remember that some relationships are not meant forever, if they were, you’d never meet anyone new.
You can start by making a list of the reasons why the end of your relationship is of a great benefit to you. Chant each point as loud as you can. Be honest to yourself because self-honesty is self-love. Always remember that no one can love you more than the way you love yourself. Don’t give the powers away to someone else.
Mourn the loss of your relationship dreams and not your significant other
Many times, we mourn the wrong things during break-ups. However, you don’t need to mourn your ex because they are not dead. The only difference is that they aren’t lying next to you. Don’t waste your energy mourning the wrong things. Mourn your dead dreams for your ended relationship such as your intentions, memories, hopes and other co-created dreams. The loss of your dreams lies your grieve and pains.
It is only normal for you to get angry and feel sad. Accept the simple fact that your dreams for the just concluded relationship are gone but don’t worsen your grieve with pain creating questions. For instance, what of if he/she finds someone else and loves the person more? Avoid such thoughts because they can multiply your pains at this stage. Remember that the ending of one dream is the beginning of another. Don’t shut the door to falling madly in love again. Nevertheless, your personal dreams didn’t end with your relationship. Love yourself and move towards your dreams.
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