Ending your relationship can be a very difficult decision. The emotional pain is always very strong; it fills you with grief and guilt over things you feel you should have done right in the relationship. It is not easy to get over that heartbreak sooner than expected; you have to keep it in mind that such process takes time and so patience is needed. The following steps will help you get over the emotional pain attached to breakup after a happy and romantic relationship.
Try to have the “moving on” spirit by keeping your distance
Keep away from your ex after the breakup as long as possible for you to heal completely. Even if both of you broke up based on agreed terms, and have promised to remain good friends, you need to cut ties for a while. This simply means not seeing each other, no calls, no text messages, no chats and so on. It is just for a while remember; it won’t last forever for both of you to still maintain your friendship bond in the friendship zone. Inculcate that strong will of saying no even when he/she convinces you to meet with him/her.
Reorganize your own space
Once breakup occurs, it sets room for a new beginning. Leaving your space untidy or as it used to be, can add to your stress and overwhelm you with saddened remembrance of recycled pain. Remove things that remind you of your ex like bedroom posters, songs, and so on. Having such items around you can trigger heartaches the more. However, if you have special gifts from your ex such as jewelries, wears and so on; please they should not be destroyed. You can do well by putting them away until you get over that heartbreak completely.
Create time to have fun and meet friends
Get out and have fun; don’t keep to yourself much. Meet old and new friends and don’t shut yourself out on the world; this helps you to heal faster. It might look a little bit weird to you, but on the long run will work wonders. You still need to improve your social network because it will help you get over that heartbreak and move on with life faster. You can also have fun on your own by going on a vacation or visiting your favorite shopping malls alone.
Don’t give room for rebound relationship
Avoid getting into a new relationship immediately after your breakup (this is called a rebound relationship). It is always dangerous because you might be covering up your negative emotions with the happiness of a new relationship and if the present relationship doesn’t work out, you may be at the risk of handling two different breakups. It is good you remain single until you have successfully processed your emotional pains and gotten over them.
Take good care of yourself and your looks
Do not neglect your self-care because it will help you feel better after a breakup. Many neglect their basic needs, be it physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Your pain will be compounded if you feel unattractive. If you didn’t pay attention to your self-care during your relationship, this is the best time to start it. Develop some healthy rituals like eating well, relaxing and sleeping well and equally remember to do some exercises too; it does help.
Keep supportive people around you
Be in the midst of people that understand, believe and loves you, it will help improve your mood. Keep your family and supportive friends around you to help accelerate your healing process. Be with those that can always render their shoulders for you to talk and cry on. They will be your source of motivation and before you say Jack Robinson; you will get over that heartbreak and quickly get back on your feet again.
You can as well write down your feelings
Write about your feelings and be true about them. The magic behind this simple approach is that you might have interesting revelations during the process. Some things might be clearer to you and some unanswered questions answering themselves, thereby reducing your pain and grieve as you further proceed. You can start writing about your feelings from day one to your last day of pain and grieve. Remember to end it with the word ‘END’ it does help.
Ponder over the negative traits of your ex
Thinking about his/her weaknesses in the relationship is another way of relieving yourself from that emotional trauma. Make a long list of them such as, forgetting birth dates, bad eating habit and so on. It will help you discover areas you are better off without him/her.
If after trying all these and your pains persist, please pay a visit to a therapist. Everyone cannot heal from such emotional pains on their own, however, if you fall under the category of people that need help from a therapist please do try to visit or talk to one.
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